i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
