is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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