he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
