just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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