Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
