i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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