I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
