they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
