These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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