i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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