who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
