Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
