fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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