I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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