i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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