Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
How's work?
Spinning.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
