Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We left an ass print on the piano.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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