I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
