I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
