If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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