just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
