hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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