So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize