I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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