he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
