Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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