this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
