And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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