But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
