I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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