the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
