she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
