we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize