after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
