Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
