Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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