I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
