I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
