He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
