We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
