Where are you?
In a non slutty way
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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