I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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