also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
