ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
