this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Congratulations! We have a period
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
