I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
