I'm lost and stupid without you.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
