She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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