Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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