I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize