You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
