There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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