Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I need water and some morals
jump out the window naked night went bad
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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