if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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