doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
