I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
