Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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