The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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